All I know is that I can change, everything else just stays the same.

why does it always seem like im all alone, like i dont have anyone else in the world ? I've been blaming others for me being alone, yet I'm starting to feel like it's me not them. I feel like I cant open up to anyone. I dont know why, I mean i want to but everytime I try to talk this wall goes up. I think it's because I'm afraid of getting let down again. I feel like if I open up to someone and then I don't end up feeling any different, it becomes another issue to be concerned about. I really wish I could find someone that I knew I could trust. It's so hard to let people in and I don't know how to change it. Until I learn how to trust people I think I'll be carrying this pain around with me forever all by myself.