Dear you, I haven't been on in awhile since my last post actually and I read what ou had to say and I hear you. Honestly you're the only one who gets me even now. I wish things were different I wish I hadn't been such a huge fucking failure. I wish you were still l here, but you're right I need to work on getting sober and from this day on imma work my hardest to be sober I'm even going to go to rehab because I know that's what I need. Reading everything you wrote made me brake out into tears instantly because I know how right you are. I just wish I listened to you sooner. I really do more than anything. Just today I was telling my "friends" how I wish things ended differently between me and you because when u look back at us I want you I remember the good times but I know you won't be able to as clearly because of all the horrible shit I put you through. I wish I could of been stronger earlier because then there might still be a chance for me and you. Please believe me when I say that even now you make me want to be strong because I know you were one of the few people who actually cared about me in my life . Believe me when I say that i am going to try my hardest to be sober because I know I'm better than what I've become. I got a job and I plan on keeping it and getting my life back on track I just wish you were here to help me through all this and help me succeed. Even though I know that we've become nothing as a couple I'm doing this because of you, because you were and are the only person who believes I can do better. So I hope your life is everything you wanted it to be because I really do want the best for you even after everything. I love you now and always love me