For Now, All the Future Holds for Me, is Me.

Have you ever asked yourself who you want most to make it to your future? I have. And i never can settle on an answer. Some people don't deserve to make it to my future and some deserve it too much. But that doesn't matter. What matters is who i want most next to me when my dreams come true or when i find peace. Once i knew that i wanted my best friend with me all my life. Sadly, we didn't last as friends. Why? She wasn't mature enough to let me in and make me understand what was going on with her. And I wasn't mature enough to handle her being distance. We haven't been friends since last summer and honestly since her i haven't felt that close to anyone. She was always there for me when i needed someone. Even when she didn't believe in the decisions i was making she always supported me. And she treated me like i was the most important person in the world. She always knew when i was down and what i needed. Whether it was a good movie, a pizza, or just some quiet time to talk, she always knew and she never had to ask. She was everything, my best friend, my sister. And now we don't even speak. For awhile i wished and hoped and prayed that she would call or email me but that day never came. And i've tried talking to her but i never get a response. And one day i relized it was never going to happen we were never going to be friends again. And our friendship was stronger than any other feeling i've ever expierenced. With her gone I can't see anyone significant enough to be in my future. No one compares to her. And it's sad because she knew me better than i knew myself. She was always part of my future plans. And it's so hard to move on, to replace her. Since her i haven't had a true bestfriend and i don't know when i will ever be able to trust someone like i trusted her. It's sad, but it's the truth. Deep down there's still a part of me that wants her to be in my future, to expierence my good time and my bad times. But i'll have to move on and create a new dream. But for now, honestly, the only true person i see in my future is me.