Fuck You, You Whore.

You are such a whore. I never told you to your face because your my cousin, but after what you did you more then deserve that title. You were supposed to be her friend and then you go and date him like everything would be okay. It won't be okay, and i hope you know that. You betrayed her and I will not forgive you for it. Don't text me and tell me that everything is okay. Don't lie to me about it, that will just make it soo much worse. And do not ask me to hang out with you and him, that's more fucked up than anything. That would make me feel akward and you should know that. She's my best friend and you more than betrayed her so do not think I will take your side just becasue were family, it doesn't work like that. What you and him have is fake, and deep down you know that. He will always love her, they dated longer than 2 years and everyone knows that. And everyone respects that, but you her friend, doesn't. Fuck You.

My Life is a Mixed Tape

Music. It can tell a lot about who a person is and how they are feeling. For me music defines my life. I listen to everything, from alternative to country to rap to old school. I got it all on my ipod. But everyday I listne to something different depending on my mood. I always lay down, make a play list, and then just let it play over and over. Personially it's nice to listen to music you can relate to because you know your not the only one feeling the way you do.
Today my playlist is as follows:
1.)AFI - Bleed Black
2.)Avenged Sevenfold - Almost Easy
3.)Green Day - Brain Stew
4.)Hinder - Get Stoned
5.)My Morning Jacket - Highly Suspicious
6.)She Wants Revenge - Tear You Apart
7.)The Black Crows - Hard To Handle
8.)The Used - Hospital
9.)Nickeback - Because of You
10.)Kate Voegele - Wish You Were
11.)Kate Voegele - You Can't Break a Broken Heart

So that completes it. Now these are SOME of my favorite songs ever. Most of these bands or artist aren't heard very much on the radio with the exception of Green Day and Nickelback. These songs may not be what's "in" at the moment, just because you can't shake your ass to it, but it's real. Every one of these artist's sings about something real, something meaningful and that's what makes their songs worth listening to.

Pinky Promise Kinda Friendship

You and me have known each other for a while. Just this year though, we started becoming close, real close.You have proven yourself to be a tremendous friend. We get along so well and I can trust you with my life, which trust me, means a lot. We always have the best time when were together and I feel like we've known each other forever. It's not weird or awkward when were sitting, just watching a movie, its comfortable. Right now I really need comfortable in my life and I thank you for providing me with it. Honestly I just want to say thank you for being my friend when I really needed someone.

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

I'm sorry but I would like to know why you think you can use me the way you plan to. You IM and I respond being a nice person and all, but you don't even make small talk, you just jump right into inappropriate questions. That's not me, that's not who I am anymore. I don't deserve to be treated like an object you can use to your liking. And the sad thing is I don't even have the "balls" to tell you off. I just make up some lie to get you to go away. And as soon as you know that I won't give you what you want you do go away. You never used to be like this. You changed and not for the better. We used to talk and be friends but you got greedy and you became an ass just like all the rest. I may not have been the best friend in the world but I don't deserve this and I don't need you. If I never saw you again that would be fine because honestly, you aren't worth my time, and never will be again.

Bigger Isn't Always Better.

Everyone expects life to go a certain way. Some dream of fairytales and some dream of freedom. Yet, everyone wants something out of life, whether they know it or not. As for me, I don't know what I want. I haven't for a while but does it really matter? Maybe the reason so many people aren't satisfied with life is because they are too full of greed. The more they want the more they suffer because they aren't happy with what they have and what they are given. People tend to want fancy objects, why i don't know? There are so many other people in the world that need so much more than we do, and yet they never get any of their necessary survival tools because we are too selfish. Now, I'm not saying that I'm perfect because there were a lot of moments in my life where I've bought something that was of no need to me. I was just being greedy. Lately I've realized that there are so many other people that need so much more than I do. So many more people that don't even have food or clothing and yet, I'm complaining I don't have the latest version of an iPod or cellphone. I'm trying more and more to appreciate the little things in life. Maybe if everyone could be a little more selfless the world could gradually become a happier place to live.

Good Times Gone

I returned home from Florida yesturday and I was so tired. We did so much in such a short time. It was a lot of fun. Friday we went to Epcot and that was a lot of fun. We didn't do all the rides but that was okay becuase I've been there before and we got to see all the countries. On Saturday I got to sleep in a little and then at night we went to the wedding. The wedding was in the most amazing spot, it was so beautiful. The reception was amazing too. The food was a little too fancy for my liking but the music was good and I got to spend time with my cousins. That night after we left we went back to the hotel and ordered pizza. That was all fun too because we got to talk and just spend time together. The next day we went to Magic Kingdom. It was freezing that day so not many people were at the park and the rides moved alot quicker. All in all we all had alot of fun. It was nice to be able to go and spend time with my family and just have a vacation.

vacation.

today is my first full day in florida. yesturday was very hectic. our plane was delayed so we had to wait in the airport and then there was so much turbulence on a plane so i felt sick hours after we actualy landed. then when i got to florida i pulled out my camera and the screen was cracked, and im a picture whore so that was disappointing. but then me and my cousn went and hung out with our other cousins who we dont see that often so that was alot of fun. and today were going to epcot, so hopefully things will stay relaxed. other tha the traveling here my trip has been good so far, more to come later.

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And I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

Tomorrow we have no school which is always nice. I can catch up on all the sleep i lost this weekend except that i have a lot to do. I have to pack for Florida, do homework, update me and my cousin's ipod, and then i have to go to the store and pick up some last minutes things for my trip. So as much as I would love to, I can't relax. Which kinda sucks because I'm so tired. But I'll be running around all day. Wednesday I have school. Which I don't mind because I won't need to go Thursday or Friday. And I'm actually excited about Florida again. I know I keep changing my op ion but maybe I can use this time to relax and forget about life for awhile. I really need time like that. So, I'm actually looking forward to it. Plus I'll have a little extra money to buy some things from Disney. Sadly I'm a cheezy souvenir junky. =] I always buy those nick knacks that look so cute in the store but then when you get home you realize that you don't have any room for it. I know that all my friends up here will miss me but I think they can do without my presence for a few days =]

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Things change, Accept it.

So today was our last show. And even though I have been so tired, I'm really really going to miss it. I'm gonna miss hanging out with such amazing people every night. They always make me smile. My life is going to be so different until the musical starts. I guess I'll find other shit to do but it won't be the same. But gradually I'll get used to things being back to "normal."

Ohh man where do i start with this one? What makes you have the right to call me the names that you did? Me and you have no future and no past as I'm concerned. You don't deserve to be in my life. You treated me wrong and abused my feelings towards you. You took advantage of me and now you say you love me. I don't need that. Not now, not ever. You don't deserve to make me happy. You and me are through and I don't appreciate the drunken phone calls. Move on with your life. What we had is over.

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That's All Folks

This week has been so crazy with all the time I've been spending at school rehearsing for the fall production. I'm not complaining though because I enjoy it. I enjoy the company of others around me and the feeling of safeness that I feel. There are some downsides including immature people who feel the need for an obsessive amount of attention and affection. Plus the lack of maturity in some of the others. But all in all I love it. I never feel better then when I'm with all of those people. They don't judge me or expect anything out of me. So, last night was our opening night and in my opinion it went well. Of course this morning I didn't want to roll out of bed I was so tired, but I got up knowing we had another show to do tonight. The show tonight went well also. We had a bigger crowd which is always positive. Afterward the cast had plans to go to friendlys but they wouldn't let us in. So we worked around this conflict and ended up at McDonald's. It was fun. It didn't matter that we were at a fast food restaurant all that mattered was that everyone was together having a good time. Though, tired beyond explanation, my weekend is still full. We have two more shows to do, and I don't doubt that they will be just as exciting.

In other news I leave for Florida on Thursday. I was really excited about going at first yet now it seems like everything else is going on that weekend and I'm going to miss it. I'll get over it, it's just disappointing. I'm going to make the best of Florida though. Most of my family will be there, and they're pretty amazing people. I just hope I'm not too tired.

For now that's basically my life and for the most part I'm enjoying it. I feel like I've found my place. (yes i realized how cheezy that sounds). But it's okay because for the first time in a while I can smile without feeling the pain. I can smile sincerely. It's nice. I don't want this feeling to ever go away.

Life is a Journey

This week I've thought about a lot of different things and I've gone up and down about my opinions. I have been thinking more and more about the truth meaning of life and what really matters. I've realized that I shouldn't worry so much about the small things that later on won't really matter. I should just live for the moment and enjoy it. Later on in life in won't matter what grade I got on one test. It won't matter who i hung around with and what we did. It won't matter what I wore to a dance and it won't matter what people said about me. None of that will matter. The only things that will truly matter are the moments that took your breath away, or made you smile for the first time in a long time. The only people that will matter are the one's that are still with you, or the people that really impacted your life in an unforgetable way. You may not agree with me but that doesn't really matter because we all see life differently, and for me I've come to accept that life will go on, even if people judge me differently. All the stupid fights and pointless worrying isn't necessary. Life will go on even if it doesn't seem like it at first. Relax because in the end you won't even remember most of it. It'll all just be a blurr of what used to be and that'll be okay because you will know that you had some good moments, even if they all weren't worth remembering. Life is one big journey and we have to decide if were going to enjoy the scenery, or keep waiting and wishing for the end.